A632.6.3.RB
The
High Cost of Conflict
I
know we have all heard it. “We were born
with two ears and one mouth…listen twice as much”. Too often, people want to “yap” instead of
listen. They want to inject, interject,
argue, and be heard.
As a
school teacher, I have really learned to find an equilibrium between listening
and speaking. I may not always listen
twice as much because of my position but I certainly know when to shut up.
Being
a retired Soldier and a Secondary School Teacher, I can state that both
occupations have their level of high stress.
There was more stress being in combat but today’s High School is pretty
darn stressful just like any career field.
Especially where there is a “chain of command” or hierarchy. According to Patient Services, Methodist
Hospital HealthSystem (1997), “Conflict is inevitable, especially in highly
stressed environments. Clinical environments marked by nurse-physician conflict
(and nurse withdrawal related to conflict avoidance) have been proven to be
counterproductive to patients. Clinical environments with nurse-physician
professional collegiality and respectful communication show decreased patient
morbidity and mortality, thus enhancing outcomes. The growth of managed care,
and the organizational turmoil associated with rapid change, makes it
imperative to structure the health care environment so that conflict can be
dealt with in a safe and healthy manner. Professional health care education
programs and employers have a responsibility to provide interactive
opportunities for multidisciplinary audiences through which conflict management
skills can be learned and truly change the interpersonal environment.
Professionals must be free to focus their energy on the needs of the patient,
not on staff difficulties.” In this
example, one can see that that the high cost of conflict is patient
health. In the military, it can mean the
difference between life and death on the battle field, and in the class room,
it can mean the difference between a student have a successful four-years of
High School or a student dropping out or failing.
In the
video found at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2z9mdX1j4A, the moderator
discusses “active listening” as a key tool to dealing with conflict. I was drawn to the content of the video
immediately because since the day I began Basic Training (3/10/1983) to the day
that I retired (4/31/2010), the Army has formally taught me all about “active
listening”. According to Major Joel P.
Cummings (2012), “Army leadership doctrine recognizes the importance of
listening to those we lead to make better plans and decisions. Field Manual
6-22, Army Leadership, calls this skill active listening. ‘Active listening
helps communicate reception of the subordinate’s message verbally and
nonverbally,’ according to FM 6-22. ‘To capture the message fully, leaders
listen to what is said and observe the subordinate’s manners.’ Active listening
is an essential component to the leadership competency of ‘communicates.’
Leadership doctrine also recognizes that communication is essential to the
other seven leadership competencies.” I
am pretty sure that this really helped my hone my active listening skills of
the course of my almost three decades of service.
So,
this assignment asks the question, “Think about the last time you “really
listened” to someone else and gave them time to “get their story out”. How
different was that experience from your normal communications?” Honestly, I believe that I engage in active
listening as a constant. Defining “normal
conversation” is a bit difficult. If I
am just yacking it up with friend, I am pretty sure that I have flicked the
active listening switch to off. However,
when dealing with conflict and assisting my students, I am always switched on.
References
Patient Services, Methodist Hospital HealthSystem.
(1997). The high cost of conflict. 15(3):119-23.
Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9305111
MindToolsVideos. (2015, June 12). Improve Your
Listening Skills with Active Listening. [VIDEO FILE]. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2z9mdX1j4A
Cummings, J.P. (2012, November-December). Active
Listening: the Leader’s Rosetta Stone. Retrieved from http://www.benning.army.mil/armor/eARMOR/content/issues/2012/NOV_DEC/Articles/Cummings_ND12.pdf
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